You’re Enough
It’s taken me a few years, and lots of therapy, to realize that the fear of failure crippled me for far too long. I have a strong feeling that I’m not the only one this pertains to. Fear of failure and of other people’s opinions used to hold me back from my true potential. I want to tell you about those specific fears that made me feel like I could never start my own blog, or write in a public space.
My fears and insecurities
I can’t write as well as other people.
I don’t know how to create a website or manage one.
What if someone doesn’t like what I write?
I don’t know how to blog correctly or any of the fancy terms.
I don’t have enough followers on social media.
What if I never make money and nothing ever comes of my blog?
I feel like I’ve failed before, what if I fail again?
What will other people think about me quitting a ‘real’ job to be a writer?
Someone, whose opinion I highly value, told me that writing and blogging is only a hobby and I’ll never make anything of it. So why bother?
All of the points above are pretty harsh and negative. But you know what? I believed every single one about myself. In addition to believing the negative chaos in my mind, I was looking for approval and validation to start my blog. I didn’t really find it.
Believing in myself became my priority. I had to know that I would figure anything out, push through and make my dream a reality. Guess what, if you’re waiting for approval or validation to start working on your dreams, you’ll never start. By doing so, you’re giving other people the power to dictate your life. You don’t need approval or validation, just believe you can do something and figure it out along the way.
It took me years to overcome my negative thoughts, my ego, and my fears. Thankfully, I didn’t do it entirely alone.
Anxiety told me I wasn’t enough
I have anxiety. It started in college after a traumatic experience, and I never learned how to truly manage it. It makes me feel alone and dark. My chest gets tight and I can’t breathe; my mind fills with negative thoughts and I get caught in a vicious, angry cycle. For a few years, I had no idea who I was or what I wanted in my life. I didn’t feel like I was good enough, smart enough or successful enough. The only thing I knew was that I enjoyed writing and it allowed me to express my thoughts and escape reality.
After working with a therapist and climbing out of the darkness with a close friend, I learned how to truly manage my anxiety. Anxiety is crippling, toxic and physically exhausting. In addition to therapy, I started to read more books (fiction, memoirs, you name it) and exercise regularly. Self-love, self-improvement, and self-worth are now my main priorities. Therapy and finding that one friend who supports me beyond belief gave me courage. Oh, and Taylor Swift’s Reputation album. DON’T HATE.
Girl, Rachel Hollis changed my life
This isn’t an ad for Rachel Hollis, but combine her two recent books and you have my bible. She seems to know me even though she’s never met me.
I’m just one of many in her #madeformore tribe. Her books dissected each one of my fears I’ve been telling myself for years and absolutely crushed them. She empowers me to pursue my dreams and motivates me to move forward in my life.
After reading her books, I realized that today is the day I need to start working towards my goals and to stop waiting around because, at the end of the day, I’m not going to be an expert if I never try and get started.
Does it sound weird that a book inspired me to stop letting my fears hold me back and to go after my dreams? Well, I don’t care. I want to share my favorite Ray Ray Hollis quote with you. This is the one that alleviates all of my fears, the one that says screw failure, to hell with judgment and let’s goooo!:
“Someone else’s opinion of you is NONE of your business”
Rachel Hollis
Face your fears
Once I stopped caring about other people’s opinions, I found freedom. I was able to find confidence in my actions. I looked on YouTube and figured out how to start a blog. After a year of writing, I now have a small following. In time, it will grow, and so will my brand and my social media following. Anything worth achieving takes time, so I’m going to be patient and keep working my ass off.
All of the fears and the excuses I had came from worrying about what other people thought of me.
STOP.
Don’t worry about what they think.
I’ve come to realize that I.AM.ENOUGH. and I dare someone to try me.
and you know what…YOU are enough.
If you have a goal that you are putting off, or a dream, just start. Try. I was so scared, and it took me years to gather up the courage to put myself out there. But hey, once I tried, it was a matter of ‘figuring it out.’ That’s what life seems to be, right? Figuring it out. No one knows anything as a beginner, so let yourself start somewhere, and then get better from there.
And guess what, if you fail, that’s okay! If you’re not failing, you’re not living. Don’t look at failure as a negative thing, change your perspective, and look at it as a learning opportunity. This is something I’ve learned to truly embrace!
I’m still a work in progress
I still have my bad days. I still sit here and try to write blog posts, or my book and think how the hell can I compete with J.K. Rowling. Well, simply put, I can’t. I’m completely different and bring my own talent. Self-improvement is an ongoing process, so that’s when I lean on my support system.
I want to share this struggle because maybe someone else is feeling the same way I did. Who else is scared to try something because they feel they aren’t enough in some capacity? Well, guess what, you ARE enough. Choose yourself and give yourself permission to shine.