I’ve always been a dreamer

I’m deep in the query trenches, and it’s fine. I’m fine. No, but seriously, I’m not having a bad experience. I’m just tired. Exhausted, really.

I took out my first chapter and started my book with the info I had in chapter 2. It’s more exciting, and I’m super proud of it, but I’m beating myself up, too. I submitted to many of my top agents before making that change.

So of course, the voice inside my head asks:

Are they going to get past the first chapter?

Are they going to reject it b/c it’s not as good as it is now?

Is anyone going to choose to represent me?

Is my writing really good enough for traditional publishing?

I’m not kidding - it’s all the thoughts. I think this happens to many writers in the query trenches; we overanalyze and get obsessed with the query timelines and anxious voices in our heads.

Then my positive/therapy voice comes to the conversation:

I don’t need anyone to choose me, I choose myself.

I will publish Elle. Either traditionally or Indie. She will become real in my hands.

My writing is good enough. I know it is.

It’s midnight. Back to writing.