Feelings of an Unpublished Author

I had this goal of completing my first draft of “Grace” in November.

Spoiler alert- I didn’t. I know I could have done it, but mentally, I’m struggling.

It’s not the writing, it’s not the direction of the book - it’s my mindset. I’m sensitive to my surroundings and I FEEL so much. The tense energy around the midterm elections is suffocating my creativity. My disappointment in myself for not showing up consistently to write is weighing me down. It’s a nasty cycle of shame.

I don’t feel comfortable where I am to write my novel, and it’s even harder when I’m home and my husband is home. It’s like I feel like I’m being watched, or constantly interrupted.

Then my mind goes down the rabbit hole: How do I find the right editor for my work? Who do you reach out to for cover art? When will Reese’s team announce the Lit Up winners? It’s so loud, and I’m craving peace. I want to escape to my worlds I’ve created and leave the noise behind.

I am an author.

I am talented.

I am a future bestselling author.

I just have to keep reminding myself. (Taylor Swift’s Midnights on repeat helps too)